An Analogy

So I totally wanted to go to prom with G. Everybody I was around was going to prom, and all people would talk about were their dates - really popular kids, star athletes, and foreign exchange students.

G was artsy and fun, but had a serious side too. I thought he was awesome.

So, I talk to G, and he asked me out on a first date. I thought it went okay, pretty well even. G sent me an automated email message saying he didn't want to go to prom with me. I was upset, but more angry that G would use an automated email to tell me this. Who does that?

And so, I ended up going to prom with X. X was really into me, and the attention was nice. Prom was okay. Not great, and I still think it would have been super fun with G, but it wasn't terrible. And X paid for everything, and that was nice.

I also could have gone to prom with LC. I really wanted to, but then he ignored me for a long time after our first date. He ended up saying he wanted to go to prom with me, but by then I had already told X I'd go with him. And LC would have made me pay for everything.

And now X wants to date me. He hasn't really been pushing it, but I kind of knew since prom that X was in it for the long haul. The thing is, I still like G. And so I talk to G again, because I've gotten new experiences and have grown since I asked him out to prom. G forgot all about me (because he's so popular), and when I asked him out he asked me if I had asked him out before, and for what. I told him I had asked him out to prom. I waited a while, but G let me know that he wasn't even going to go on one date with me.

I'm still a little torn up by G, but I guess I have to realize I'm not popular or pretty enough to ask out even the "indie"-popular boys. I didn't even bother asking out the star football players or the really popular boys, but I thought I had a chance with G.

And so, now I know. My self-esteem took a permanent hit, but at least I won't make the mistake of falling in love with a boy out of my league.

If this were actually about high school, you would tell me that I was pretty and smart and funny and that any guy would be crazy lucky to have me. But now what?