if i write this, i might say something smart

reasons why i find sarah palin hilarious (some in that way when you're so sad you can't do anything but laugh)

1. Alaska, really? Wikipedia says 683,478 people live there. that's less than half of santa clara county. a chester county and a half. alaska, where they pay you to live there. everything i know about alaska i learned from the simpsons movie.

2. Abstinence-only education. Pregnant 17 year old daughter. *scratching head*
2a. Jamie-Lynn Spears bought Bristol Palin baby gifts.

3. What she named her children (Track, Bristol, Willow, Piper, Trig). i mean, these names are perfectly fine individually. well, the girls' names. bristol is a city in england. it's just unfortunate it rhymes with pistol. and willow is from buffy. and piper is from charmed! now, track is plain ol' unfortunate. but trig? trig?? is that short for something? that's not trigonometry? which is now giving me terrible high school flashbacks.

4. A lot of reports call her a "self-described hockey mom". if i were governor of a state, running for national office, i'm not sure i would want to describe myself as a domestic homemaker. maybe that's just me.

5. Creationism in schools. and not the flying spaghetti monster

6. controlling [NATURAL] predator populations. so, when bad shit happens in nature, it's the natural predators that hurt the most. because as you go up the food chain, the bad stuff becomes more and more concentrated. and so the top predators die off, which means there's overpopulation of their prey. for normal people, this is a Bad Thing. in palin's case, this is more moose and caribou to hunt. and so, she's doing it artificially. by shooting wolves. from the sky.

7. speaking of animals, she's trying to get polar bears off the threatened species list. because there are more polar bears now than 30 years ago. and there will be more polar bears in the future because she'll be drilling in their natural habitat. and because global warming is just a natural cycle and all that permafrost and sea ice is going to re-freeze itself.

in other news, i got a much smaller wallet and i don't have my chick-fil-a card with me. which means i won't be getting free chick-fil-a for lunch today. grrrr who decided i carried too many cards? i NEED them!